Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Divine Wrath (I hope)

So the whole swampy state of New Jersey is sick. At least my corner of the hole is, anyway. I just finished my ‘script of antibiotics and I’m still swilling a bottle of tri-tussy syrup like some bowery wino. Oh yeah, I might feel better, but I still continue to cough the cough of a decade-long smoker, even though I don’t smoke – yet.
I was diagnosed with some form of a sinus infection last week. The drip got down into my chest and messed me up, gave me a fever and chills and sweats and faintness and all kinds of horrible things and actually got me to shell out a few petrodollars in the form of a primary physician’s visit copay. In my throes of illness, I think I managed to spread my pox upon my backup band (Dawn and the Spawn) because there isn’t one of them that hasn’t hacked, dripped or fevered since.
Now – I’m all about Old School Wrath of God. By all means, bring on the brimstone and destroy a city for me. Turn a river to blood. Shit, turn that bee-yotch into a pillar of salt ‘cuz she looked funny at ya. I’m down with that. But man, of all the tools that the Big Man has in his belt, I have gotta hate Plague the most. Sure – famine is WAY up there, but I live in a nice place where bacon is everywhere, and thanks to a few can-can sales, I ain’t worryin’ about the starvation thing quite yet. Sickness though – watch out. Being sick is the worst. Struck down by the invisible. Eaten away from the inside. Drowned in snot. Young, old, it don’t matter to a new strain of bug that has no antibody with its name on it.
“Hey, man, how are ya? I haven’t seen ya for a while, put ‘er there…” ZAP. You got it, and it’s that easy.
Now – I’m not going to go all Monk on you, because you know better of me. I’m just telling you that 95-99% of us are sick right now, or are about to be, and that is too high a number for it be outside of Divine Will. (and no – I said Will, not Wil) I mean, as cool as it is that Divine Wrath is upon us, I just can’t help my nature and complain that He didn’t choose someway else. Like maybe frogs.


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