Blech.

I think I just need to die.
I can get along just fine with all kinds of different bodily pain. I’m definitely at home with mental pain, but I seem to have fallen to my very best hated type of malady. Gastrointestinal.
I awoke this morn at the great hour of four to the irresistible urge to purge. From everywhere. Things that were in needed to be out. It took several hours of contortions and revolving door tactics with el bano, but I now find myself a spent shell and probably quite dehydrated and most certainly afraid of everything solid.
I hate it when my guts get out of whack. The bitch part is that it happens from time to time. But this one was worse than usual. I’m thinking viral. I actually had to pull over on my way into the office so I could effectively dry-heave. You all know how much THAT had to suck.
Now – I’m hunched over in my office freezing and staring at a container of spongy Nissin Cup Noodles thinking that I would prefer mustard gas to this feeling. Maybe even a sweet laceration or hell – gimme a good ol fashion headache. Toothache even. I know how to handle them.
Alas – my Achilles Heel is none other than my stomach. And intestines. Hell – it’s my entire alimentary canal.
Bottom line : I’m hating life right about now. If only my phone would stop ringing…