NASCAR 2026
Last year, while driving to the golf course, I had the opportunity to use one of my favorite comments concerning a growing threat in this country as Billiam and I were witnesses and almost victims of the mad driving skillz of a blue-haired bingo crazed card carrying member of the AARP. After hearing a stream of language usually reserved for sailors and inmates come from the seat next to me, I let loose with the phrase that we will be hearing more and more about those Gray Panthers :
“One foot in the grave, the other on the gas.”
Granted, along the way, they’ll have the left or right blinker going, a line of hats and tissue boxes across the rear window, and maybe even in a few years the windshields will be specially designed to be bifocaled – the bottom half for the street and the top half for the signs.
I was all about this article on MSN that gives some numbers behind the nation’s great threat. Absolute truth. The ancients are everywhere, especially in front of me, wherever I go, or more specifically where I WANT to go. Like – the freaking bread aisle in Shop-Rite, any McFastFoodPlace, any kid function be it CCD, Scouts, dance, bowling, weapons camp, or, heaven forbid, the pharmacy (this could spawn a whole new blog entry on the possibility of America’s pharmacies being in reality alien spawn points, where all these aliens take the form of senior citizens – it is more plausible after you think about it for a while).
If our government is truly the overlords we take them to be, these liver-spotted highway clotters may be doing us all a favor and be on a federal mission to enforce the speed limits. By sacrificing themselves as speed drones, they force the rest of the traffic to work with them, of course at this juncture since they are not recognized as helpful they are performing the ultimate sacrifice of causing accidents to prove the point. One can even take the point of calling them Freeway Terrorists.
Sorry dad, but you ARE one of them, and if it’s not because you’re driving too slowly, it’s the complete opposite, and it may be a good thing you’re already home before some schools let out. I give you less than a decade before 65 mph is considered light speed, and you join the rest of the Empire of the Old. Hell – all truth be told, the day that the Porq slows down is the day that my buds and I all settle out and join in on yelling at the kids to get off the lawn.
“One foot in the grave, the other on the gas.”
Granted, along the way, they’ll have the left or right blinker going, a line of hats and tissue boxes across the rear window, and maybe even in a few years the windshields will be specially designed to be bifocaled – the bottom half for the street and the top half for the signs.
I was all about this article on MSN that gives some numbers behind the nation’s great threat. Absolute truth. The ancients are everywhere, especially in front of me, wherever I go, or more specifically where I WANT to go. Like – the freaking bread aisle in Shop-Rite, any McFastFoodPlace, any kid function be it CCD, Scouts, dance, bowling, weapons camp, or, heaven forbid, the pharmacy (this could spawn a whole new blog entry on the possibility of America’s pharmacies being in reality alien spawn points, where all these aliens take the form of senior citizens – it is more plausible after you think about it for a while).
If our government is truly the overlords we take them to be, these liver-spotted highway clotters may be doing us all a favor and be on a federal mission to enforce the speed limits. By sacrificing themselves as speed drones, they force the rest of the traffic to work with them, of course at this juncture since they are not recognized as helpful they are performing the ultimate sacrifice of causing accidents to prove the point. One can even take the point of calling them Freeway Terrorists.
Sorry dad, but you ARE one of them, and if it’s not because you’re driving too slowly, it’s the complete opposite, and it may be a good thing you’re already home before some schools let out. I give you less than a decade before 65 mph is considered light speed, and you join the rest of the Empire of the Old. Hell – all truth be told, the day that the Porq slows down is the day that my buds and I all settle out and join in on yelling at the kids to get off the lawn.
4 Comments:
Yo Bone....
If you think I have one foot in the grave and the other on the gas pedal...
I also have one hand with a pen to write a revision to the will... and I have more than one pen.!!!!
OINK
So THAT'S why you always carry those scribble sticks around...
It all makes sense now...
When Porq slows down we are REQUIRED to start yelling at the kids to get off our lawn....it's the natural progression of things....sunrise sunset....
my concern is that at one point the world was going to be overrun by plastic diapers from the boomer's kids. Somehow, this was avoided. Will this scourge now return? Inquiring minds bold need to know!
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